Shawn and Katie, renewing their vows

SURPRISE!
Katie, didn't know what was coming

Shawn, a hero, a great father, a soldier who had returned from Iraq, is simply an amazing person. Between training for his deployment for Iraq, being a great husband to Katie, and providing for his three daughters, he had the time to plan in detail, a surprise vow renewal for his wife. Katie and Shawn had been married for some time now, but because of his quick deployment to Iraq, they truly never had the opportunity to have a real wedding, with real wedding photos. Katie, who dreamt one day of filling the album she had bought with wedding photos, would soon have that dream come true.

A day before the wedding, Shawn took the time off of work to meet me at Sunset Beach to plan the surprise. It took just a few minutes of coordinating, and we were done. I have to say, the pre-planning logistics is a breeze if I deal with a man whose been in combat military. Their combat experience really pays off when it comes down to pulling off surprises. In combat, maintaining the logistical element of surprise is key to that soldiers survival. Pulling of a surprise vow renewal or even a wedding, is a walk in the park to these heroes compared to what their jobs calls for. Not to insult all the over controlling mother-in-laws out there, but it would probably take me two to three hours to do the same thing if I were to plan it with them.

Needless to say, everything went off as planned, and Katie was surprised!

Katie finally got her photos

So Shawn makes his living as a hero serving this nation and protecting our freedoms, and Katie is just as heroic as she makes her living caring for their three young daughters full time. Did you know that a recent statistic came out that says "the stay-at-home mother is equivalent to $150,000." I have no doubt about that. Do you know that a mother who just cuts coupons every week can save thousands of dollars per year. A mother who cooks at home most of the days per week, can save $30,000 in household earnings. A mother who stays at home and raises her children can save $30,000 in nanny and day care services per year. A 20/20 report once took five couples, broke down their household income, and concluded that it would be not just the right thing to do for the woman to stay home, but also it would be financially sensible.

Here is what is wrong with today's society. To sum it up, men have become feminized and because of that, women have been forced to masculinize. Here in America, and I'm sure in other parts of the world, many men sleep with women, get them pregnant, and leave. Do they want to be providers? No! Women are forced to become the providers, to get jobs, and devote less time to raising the child.

Then, there are men and society who expect a woman to work even if the man's income is more than sufficient to provide a steady income for that family. I remember talking to a former friend of mine who literally said that he would force his wife to get a job. It's no wonder my former friend is still not married, and to no surprise, not a friend anymore. I don't keep jerks like that as my friends.

So what is the unfortunate result of women being forced out their care-taking role? Kids get raised by MTV, have Britney Spears as role models, and learn sex ed from video games, friends, and movies. Then they get brainwashed into thinking America is evil, capitalism is bad, from our "great" public school teachers and they come out with some child abandonment issues and eventually end up hating society.

What the heartland of America should resemble

This is why I truly admire stay at home mothers like Katie and my own mother. They buck the trend, do what's right, and help raise their kids right so one day they would become great adults. I am where I am today because I had great parents: a stay at home mother who cared for me around the clock, and a father who was a great provider. There is no scientific proof that can conclude 100% that women who care and raise their children end up having a child who will eventually become successful. And I am in no way saying or even concluding, that if a woman works a full time job, and has to hire day care for their child, that they are being a bad mother. Sometimes you have to do, what you have to do. Sometimes two incomes are needed to support the family, especially in this economy. Sometimes, in fact all the time, the single mother has to be the provider and the care taker for the child...and that in itself is just amazing. And as a lasting note, it is a not an guaranteed assumption that a child will end up failing in life as a result of bad parenting, just look at Obama, he became president.

I am just arguing the case and praise, for the stay-at-home mom, because society seems to look down on them...and sometimes, they seem to look down on themselves. Ask a young girl what she wants to be in life these days, and if she says "a great stay-at-home mother" she gets laughed at, and even classified as lazy. Personally, I think that's a great goal. If anything we should be looking up to stay-at-home mothers as an example of what society should be.

So lets look at the other extreme end of the spectrum. Lets look at Hollywood, where celebrity mothers spend more time on set, hitting red carpet galas, and hire round the clock nanny's to care for their children. They provide the best money can money can buy: schools, clothes, toys, psychologist, and jobs for their kids. They provide everything except motherly love 24 hours a day. The result. By the age of 34, the typical Hollywood chlid is either dead, manically depressive, or suffering from alcoholism, drug abuse, a good sense of morals, or all of the above. A starving kid in Africa has a better chance of living a longer better life than a kid raised in Hollywood. Why we let celebrities go to 3rd world countries to adopt, I HAVE NO IDEA!!!

So since today is mothers day, I would like to salute you, especially stay-at-home moms, for a job well done. For those mothers who need to work, I am also sure you still provide that nurturing love as well and I salute you.

Here is a video by Dr. Laura worth watching "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Mothers:

Happy Mother's Day!

Steven Young
The Hawaii Wedding Reporter
http://www.dreamweddingshawaii.com/