I’ve been in the wedding industry for over twenty years, and have planned, photographed, and also been a part of all types of weddings throughout the United States. And I can say without a doubt, tying the knot on the beaches in Hawaii, from my observation, is probably the most romantic. Screw the hotels, the golf courses, or resort weddings – none of it compares to exchanging vows on the beach, with your toes buried in the sand. If you do it right it can be inexpensive and romantic. And then, if you do it wrong – well I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Here are my five tips so to having the perfect beach wedding in Hawaii.
#1 REALIZE THAT YOUR WEDDING ISN’T GOING TO BE PERFECT
Isn’t that kinda strange? To have the perfect wedding you have to realize it’s not going to be perfect? Well, it’s 100% true. Your perfect partner in life isn’t perfect, think about it that way. You can try to plan for everything to go right on your wedding day, but for one reason or another, something may go wrong. And it’s really not that big of a deal – unless you make it a big deal.
I have two true stories to share.
I had one couple (pictured above) who spent thousands of dollars on an outdoor beach wedding on the North Shore. Like all my couples, they flew halfway around the world say their “I do’s” on the beach. They were a bit nervous about the weather reports as a huge storm was scheduled to envelop the island from coast to coast. We couldn’t move the dates because of their tight schedule so they decided to tie the knot rain or shine.
On their wedding day, it poured; cats, dogs, guinea pigs, lions, you name it. Luckily, they had a vacation rental nearby and we performed their ceremony on the porch, overlooking the ocean. After the ceremony, we headed to the beach to take photos.
“It was perfect!”
As with all my couples had the bad luck of getting stormy weather on their wedding, I offered a free shoot on another day. I feel really guilty when mother nature doesn’t cooperate.
To my surprise, they refused.
“It’s perfect Steve. The rain, the wedding, we couldn’t ask for a more perfect day. We had so much fun. This is our story. I wouldn’t want it any other way,” The groom told me after talking to his wife.
Wow. What a perfect couple with the perfect attitude on an imperfect day.
Now onto the next couple, featuring Godzilla – uhm, I mean Bridezilla.
Bridezilla didn’t want to spend much money on her wedding and booked a vow renewal package to use for her wedding. I had no problem with that as sometimes people are just on a budget. A few days before her wedding she ordered a bouquet and also a limo. Everything seemed to be flowing smoothly until the day before her wedding when for some reason, some idiot from the government decided to send out a text, warning everyone in Hawaii of an impending ballistic missile strike!
For about 45 minutes, all of Hawaii thought they were going to get nuked – except me. I was fast asleep.
From what I learned, it was quite the site. People were hiding their kids down sewers, tourists were charging down the sidewalks of Waikiki as though Godzilla was about to strike. People were traumatized.
Since Bridezilla’s wedding was in the morning of the next day, I headed to the florist to pick up her bouquet the evening before. Unfortunately, the florist’s supplier wasn’t working. In fact, supermarkets were closed down, along with a lot of shops. Hawaii was pretty much a ghost town because everyone thought they were going to get nuked. They just dropped everything and left. And after the incident, they pretty much stayed home to comfort loved ones, it seemed.
I called up Bridezilla, to inform her that more than likely, that because of the circumstances, here bouquet was a no go. She had no problem at all. On another note, she had placed the order for her bouquet a few days before her wedding day, which in most cases, usually was too late. My florist usually requires a three-week advance warning so they can fly in fresh flowers. I had to beg my florist to put something together at the last minute. They were going to try to string together a bouquet with what they had left over from other weddings, but there wasn’t anything to go around because the supplier had not dropped off any fresh flowers.
About ten minutes after I ended my call with the Bridezilla, she called back up to very strangely asked me if I had any drugs on me that she could have. The nuke warning had rattled her and she was looking to calm down. I told her I didn’t have any drugs because I don’t use drugs. She then made a snide comment and told me that I was surprised because I looked like the type of guy who would use drugs or know a dealer.
The next morning, her wedding rolls around, and everything is great. Pretty much everything goes off without any problems. She’s a bit late to her limo, and she is a bit high maintenance, but other than that, we push through and make everything work. She seems happy that she has no bouquet, everything ended on a good note.
So I thought.
A few days later, I receive a call from her demanding that I give her a full refund for not delivering the bouquet.
Full refund?
She got a refund for the bouquet, obviously – but she wanted a refund for the minister, photography, and limo service, because she felt “emotionally distressed.” She even had the nerve to blame the nuke scare on my company. Last I checked, my wedding company couldn’t issue ballistic warning threats to the State of Hawaii. When the Bridezilla didn’t get her refund, she went ballistic, swearing at me, insulting my company, my photography, my minister, and then threatened to ruin me by writing fake reviews on social media (which she did). I countered by writing a review of her on my website. Luckily, a lot of my former brides came to my defense (who she called my goons) and flooded Yelp and Facebook with good reviews to offset her bad reviews. Her reviews were eventually deleted off of Facebook because she used a catfish profile (which was pretty old, haha).
If the Bridezilla would have just accepted the fact that a nuke scare was just part of her wedding story, this would not have been a nightmare for her. But to make literally make a mountain out of a molehill.
The truth is, the odds are on your side that everything will flow smoothly on your wedding day. But there’s a 1% chance that something will hit the fan. You may run a bit late. Your hair may not look exactly like the way you thought it would. You may stutter through your vows. You may even forget your groom at the hotel (that happened before!) And if it does, just roll with it. If you roll with it and have the right attitude, you’ll have an amazing story to tell – and it’ll still be PERFECT.
If you want everything to be perfect, you’re going to freak out and turn into an emotional wreck.
#2 LEARN TO LET GO
This is a big step if you are a control freak. I would tell you right now, flat out, if you are a control freak, you should pass on the idea of a Hawaii Wedding. Planning a destination wedding requires surrendering a lot of control over to strangers. Even if you fly down here to meet your vendors, you’re still won’t have 100% control of everything.
If you’re a bride who is easy peasy, then saying your “I do’s” here is a definitely an option.
#3 MAKE SURE YOU CAN AFFORD IT
This is just my personal opinion, but you should not start the next chapter off by going into debt. This applies especially to university graduates. If you’re a recent graduate, you more than likely have a huge student loan that you need to pay off. Throw in a mortgage and car payments, chances are that you’re probably up to your waist in bills. You don’t need another weight dragging you down.
If you’re planning a Hawaii wedding, make sure you can pay for it, the travel, and the cost of being a tourist in Hawaii in one swoop.
If you can’t afford it, do something very affordable at home. You don’t need to spend tens of thousands of dollars for a gala wedding. A college education can cost $30,000 or more for 4 years. The average cost of a gala wedding is around $30,000, which you will burn through in 24 hours! A Hawaii wedding can cost as little as $175.00, by the way.
#4 HIRE A TRUSTWORTHY AND GOOD WEDDING PLANNER
This is pretty obvious, right?
But what is a trustworthy wedding planner?
- Someone who has the brides interest first, not their own. There are many planners who love to use their “preferred vendors” because they get a hefty commission from them.
- Someone who’s not from Nigeria asking you to wire tax-free money to them in Africa.
What is a good wedding planner?
- Someone who returns your messages promptly
- Someone whose quality is outstanding, not just by their own word, but by their Yelp reviews.
- Someone who is punctual. If they say they are going to return your call in a few minutes, they better return it a few minutes, not a week from tomorrow.
- Someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses.
- Be very aware of planners who think they can fill in the shoes for a vendor. Most planners are not that talented at all.
Also, make sure when you do hire a wedding planner, make sure that they are actually based in Hawaii.
#5 KEEP YOUR GUEST COUNT LOW
Mo people – mo problems – also, mo money!
The reason why weddings are expensive is because the food bill that comes with the ceremony, is astronomical! On average, wedding couples will spend $130 per guest. Easy math here. A hundred guest amounts to a $13,000 food bill, without tax. Throw in a drunk buddy at an open hotel bar, that food tab comes to $17,000 pretty easily.
The reason why destination weddings are so cheap is because not everyone can afford to travel.
Less people mean less stress, and less drama. If you want zero drama and stress – elope! I’m not kidding about that.
So that concludes my five tips to planning the perfect hawaii wedding. Have anything to add? As always, comment below!
Steve Young
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