I’ll just come out and say it. I don’t care what the circumstance is, money can make or break a friendship. It can even sever ties between close family members. I didn’t have to say it – it’s common knowledge, right? But lately, in this hipster world, it’s not. Mo Money – Mo Problems, like Puff used to say (or is it P Diddy now, what the hell does he call himself now?)
So, when it comes to your wedding? Who fronts the bill? You, your fiance, your father, your fiance’s mother, your cousin’s best friends roommate’s uncle?
You have bridesmaids. Who pays for their dresses, make-up, and shoes?
And your reception?
And your ceremony?
What about tradition? Shouldn’t the Father of the Bride pay for the reception and ceremony – or was it the other way around… the Mother of the Groom?
Answer: SCREW TRADITION AND YOU AND YOUR FIANCE PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
If you want to keep relationships nice and tidy for everyone, I repeat, you and your fiance should pay for everything. This avoids all drama that money can create. And if you can’t afford to pay for a wedding in Hawaii yourself, then you shouldn’t do it.
Before I piss off some brides who will scream and whine, “Steven, it’s the trend right now for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and make-up.” And I will agree with them. But I will also say it’s a stupid trend. You don’t invite a friend to be an honorary guest, then make them front hundreds of dollars to do it. What if they are struggling with bills that month? You just shoved them into debt. I can tell you that I’ve heard bridesmaids gossip at weddings on how much their bride made them pay for their dresses, let’s just say it wasn’t very nice. I’ve seen friendships on bridal courts lost over deciding who pays for what.
So repeat – Pay for everything, end of story.
There are exceptions to my rule “that you pay for everything.” If anyone wants to bless your wedding by paying for something, then it’s 100% okay. That’s different than telling a guest you’re footing the bill for ____________(fill in the blank).
Now, the is conversation isn’t over yet.
Even though you’re not married yet, start acting like one. Marriage in the Bible means that you move one in flesh.
“Where you go I go” stuff.
“What you make I make” stuff.
“Your debt is my debt”
“And boy you better not buy that without asking me first,” stuff.
Don’t split the bill for your wedding, honeymoon, or anything. Don’t split your rent. Don’t tell your future husband, I’ll pay for the dress and you pay for the wedding. Be in one in flesh, not two accounts. Operate together, on everything. Add your significant other to your Costco account, combine bank accounts. You get what I’m saying.
Alright, peeps. I’m outta here. You got financial advice and marriage advice from someone who is a college dropout. Take it or leave it.